CHRISTMAS was not to be the same this year. Isolated from the rest of
the outside world, it was difficult with the seven children to
celebrate the birth of Jesus when their stomachs were empty. There
were no decorations, no brightly lit candles, no Christmas tree, no
cookies and no beautifully wrapped gifts to exchange. The children
were just as hungry today as any other day. Soon, Dad would be telling
the children about the Messiah, born in a manger, much like the little
hut they lived in.

This father, mother and their seven children (all under 14) were
banished into exile in the far reaches of an uninhabited part of the
country. The Communist authorities hated the father because of his
convicting preaching. He was nicknamed by the believers “The Golden
Word” because of his eloquence. They were forced to move to a little
village inaccessible by car or train. What little food they were given
was flown in by helicopter. They lived in a tiny hut with a straw
roof, under constant surveillance of the prison guards.

The village was established for those “undesirables” of society, which
included “religious fanatics”. The stinging chill was made worse by
the wind whipping snow across the flat barren land, unbroken by hills,
and whistling its song through every crack and crevice in the small
hut. For two days now the guards had not bothered to bring them any
food. They were too busy preparing their own celebration with wine and
pork.

The children listened intently to their father telling them the story
of Jesus as they huddled together around the dim light of the gas
lantern on the table. They were so intent, they forgot about their
hunger. But when the story was over, one after the other began to cry.
Before going to bed that Christmas Eve, the whole family knelt down on
the dirt floor and prayed as never before: “Our Father, which art in
Heaven…give us this day our daily bread.”

After they finished their prayer and said “Amen”, the children asked
their mother and father many questions.

“Do you think God heard our prayer?”
“Of course He did.”
“But what if He didn’t hear it?”
“That isn’t possible.”
“Do you think He will send us bread?” they asked.
“Yes, I’m sure He will,” said the father.
“But when?” they cried.

The parents, heartbroken to see their children crying from hunger
could not answer. The children continued, “Who will He send to bring
us bread?”

“He will find someone,” said the father reassuringly.

“But what if He doesn’t find anyone?”

“Well then…” the father paused, “He Himself will bring it with His
own hand. Now close your eyes and go to sleep.”

The father blew out the little lantern as darkness descended on them
and the wind whistled to them in their sleep. Suddenly, the still
darkness was shattered. A knock at the door!

The father got out of bed and opened the door just a crack to keep the
cold from blowing inside. A hand holding a large loaf of bread was
stretched toward him. His heart pounding, the father reached out to
take the bread, and at the same time opened the door widely to say
thank you. But at that very moment, in the twinkling of an eye, the
hand was gone. There was no one there. Bewildered, the father closed
the door and turned around. All seven children leaped out of bed and
surrounded him.

“Who was it, Father?” Who gave you the bread?”

“Children”, he said with a tremble in his voice, “the Lord did not
find anyone to send to us with bread, so He Himself came and gave it
to us with His own hand.”

Nobody could sleep anymore that Christmas Eve. The children couldn’t
stop singing about Jesus and about how the Lord had spread a table for
them in the wilderness.

The Lord carefully formed each of us and intentionally designed every individual with unique strengths and weaknesses. Too often we waste our lives constantly complaining about inherent traits that we did not choose to possess nor can we choose to eradicate them. We spend such an excessive amount of time evaluating ourselves and dwelling on our own imperfections that we render ourselves useless to the world. Only when we recognize the hand of God in our lives and search for opportunities to give Him glory through what He has given us will we begin to live a life with real purpose. Our hope is in Him not in ourselves.

We must recognize and accept that we exist to glorify God (Revelation 4:11). A life lived for any other reason will always feel empty and incomplete. This is why so many people fall into depression and set out to “find themselves.” Regardless of their salary, fame, or even how many grandchildren they have, deep down inside something tells them, “There must be more to life.” The most common mistake in these cases is that we tend to look inside ourselves for the answers when we should be looking to our Creator. Even though it feels uncomfortable, it is actually an act of grace. God is speaking to you and trying to get you to realize that there is no true joy outside of Him. Fellowship with the Lord is the oxygen of our soul. Without it, we will suffocate spiritually.

In Christ, we have a supernatural ability to overcome our own thoughts. We do not always control what goes in our minds, but we decide what stays. Most of our problems in life begin with dwelling on wrong thoughts. Philippians 4:8 tells us “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true… honest… just… pure… lovely… of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

It is easy for us to see the negatives. We phlegmatics are experts at that. We thrive on pointing out problems and imperfections. In this passage of Scripture the Lord commands us to make a practice of focussing on the positives. He says, “If there be ANY virtue, and if there be ANY praise, think on these things.” If a situation is 99.9% negative He says to think about the 0.1%. Why? Because dwelling on problems produces fear, and fear is a lack of faith. And “without faith it is impossible to please Him” (Hebrews 11:6).

We need to see the positive potential in every characteristic that God has molded into us and then ask, “How can I give Him glory through this.” The areas in which we are the weakest yield the most potential to magnify our Lord. He chose the foolish things of this world to confound the wise and the weak things to confound the strong (1 Corinthians 1:27). We, like Paul, should glory in our infirmities because they are what constantly remind us that we are completely dependent upon the Lord.

Psychology does not define who we are or what our potential is. God alone reserves the right to order and direct our paths.

Stop looking within yourself, and look to Christ. All of the answers that you are looking for are found in Him.

Quit worrying about what everyone else thinks about you and strive to live a life that pleases God. He is the only one that matters.

Accept who He made you to be, and thank Him for it.

Dwell on the positive and invest what you have.

Spend less time evaluating yourself and more time reflecting on the cross.

God gave us gifts, talents, strengths, and weaknesses intentionally to use for His glory. Let’s look for opportunities to invest what we have to serve Him and others.

• I love peanut butter M&M’s
• My daughter likes them too.
• I gave her some without her asking for them.
• I told her “… Just because I love you.”
• Norah gave some back and said, “… Just because I love you, too.”
• Giving should not be compulsory; it should be out of love and gratitude.

When my parents came to visit a few weeks ago, they brought a giant bag of peanut butter M&M’s. I’m not typically possessive of food, but this culinary luxury is my absolute favorite candy and it is impossible to find anywhere in the world besides the U.S.

One night I stealthily snuck into kitchen cabinets to indulge in junk food bliss. When I turned around I was surprised to see Norah standing there in her pajamas. She only wanted a drink of water and asked for it sweetly. Suddenly an unnatural impulse came over me and I grabbed a handful of M&M’s and put them in her hands. I told her, “Here you go, Norah. Just because I love you.”

She seemed a little shocked since she didn’t even ask for them and just stood there for a second staring at her hands. Suddenly a huge smile came across her face and she picked up a few with her tiny fingers and handed them back to me. She said, “Here you go, Daddy. Just because I love you, too.”

I didn’t demand 10% of her M&M’s from her and then put her on a guilt trip until she finally paid up. She realized that I gave her something of mine so she could enjoy it, and she didn’t do anything to deserve it. She didn’t even ask for it. Norah responded to love by showing love and giving back a portion of what was given to her. I had the entire bag to myself, and I didn’t even need her little offering. But I took it anyway and for some reason those three little M&M’s were the sweetest that I’ve ever eaten.

When you hear a good story which character do you usually relate to? Most of us subconsciously compare ourselves to the hero. Who else could we be besides the main character? We have a natural desire to win and be great in our personal life story.

We love to read about David and picture ourselves in his place grabbing ferocious carnivores by their scruffy mandibles and tearing them apart with our bare hands. The lowly shepherd boy who becomes king inspires us. We see ourselves as Charles Darnay who ends up with Lucie at the end of all of the drama in our own little “Tale of Two Cities.” The journey was rough with some close calls, but in the end, we live victorious in our long life of bliss.

But who truly aspires to be Jonathan, the would-be king who forfeited his right to the throne so David could fulfill his destiny. He was slaughtered at the prime of his life before he could even heroically hand over the kingdom. Or who dreams about being Carton who lays his own life for another man so that he can live happily ever after with the same woman he loved but could never have? We hope that somebody would do something like that for us, but laying down our life without glory for someone else just isn’t on our list of things to do.

What if you’re not even that guy? I always took this idea one step further in my own morbid mind. Although I wanted to believe that I was the hero, I really saw myself as the random guy that ends up dying just so everybody grasps gravity of the plot-building situation. I at best relate to the friend of the main character who dies and adds more depth and a sense of emotional attachment to the person that the story is really about. I even sense it when I read biographies like Jim Elliot, Nate Saint, Pete Fleming, and those other two guys… I’m probably one of the other two whose name most people can’t even remember!

Although humility is admirable and even desirable, it is the most unnatural characteristic for any of us to actually possess. We want attention and recognition. Nobody aspires to be another nameless face that blends into the background of life setting the stage for the real heroes. Somehow someway we really want to matter.

Even when we put ourselves down and concentrate on how horrible and messed up we are we still act in pride. We remain the center of our own thoughts and attention. True humility is forgetting about self and focusing on serving others. It is when we stop caring about what happens to us and our priority becomes advancing others. This goes completely against our nature, and I will be the first to admit that I struggle with this concept as much if not more than any one else that I know.

In his book “Humility” C.J. Mahaney talks about the desire that Jesus’ disciples had to be great. In their pride James and John wanted the Lord to publicly announce that they would be His right and left hand men when He ruled the kingdom. They were on their way to Jerusalem and Jesus had just told them that He was going to suffer and die. This was their response. Talk about bad timing! Mahaney points out an interesting fact that Jesus never condemned their desire to be great, he simply redefined the meaning of the word. In Mark 10:43-44 Jesus says, “Whosoever will be great among you, shall be your minister: and whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all.” Mahaney does a good job summarizing the thought and states that according to Jesus Christ true greatness is serving others for the glory of God.

The Lord doesn’t want us to be mediocre. He wants us to be great, not according to the world’s standard, but His own. That means we must die to ourselves and seek out opportunities to serve others. Only then can we truly be great. This is what makes working together as a team so difficult. Everybody is concerned that they won’t get the recognition that they think they deserve. We will be much more effective in evangelizing the world if we just forget about ourselves and focus on “ministering” (serving others).

We cannot fabricate humility. If we could, it would cease to be humility and become another twisted form of arrogance. What we can do however is resist pride. It is a conscious, daily exercise of looking at every single thought and emotion and asking the question “How will Christ benefit from this?”

Jesus is the hero and main character of our life’s story. We simply have the honor of playing a supporting role. It isn’t about us. Until we grasp that concept, we will live a life of constant frustration always struggling for a position that doesn’t even belong to us. We contend with God for supremacy.

It is time for us to accept who the Lord designed us to be, and enjoy our role in life regardless of how prestigious or insignificant we think it is.

The battlefield (as it always is with fear) was in my mind, and consequently more difficult to evade than some physical nemesis that I could just punch in the nose and get it over with quickly. Spiritual battles are rarely, if ever, won that way.

The unlikely source that instigated this internal conflict was a book that a friend gave to me to help me pass time on a recent trip. His intentions were good when he handed me “The Spirit Controlled Temperament” by Tim LaHaye, and told me that he enjoyed it and that he was positive that I would too.

Now, before I go any further, I want to preface everything else that I’m about to write by stating that this post is not an actual book review. In fact, I didn’t even get to finish it. I only made it ¾ of the way through before my trip ended and I had to return it. I’m sure it ends with more hope than what it left me, but until I can get my own copy (it’s not easy to come by here in Africa), I guess I will never really know. And as a side note: What “best-selling classic” isn’t available on kindle?! Seriously! I digress…

In “The Spirit Controlled Temperament” Tim LaHaye talks about four different types of temperaments that individuals are born with. Sanguans are impulsive, fun, sociable and emotional people. Cholerics are typically ambitious, goal-orianted, energetic, and described as “born leaders.” Melancholies are described as highly creative, introverted, pensive, and in most cases geniuses. They tend to excel in the fine arts.

But then he addresses Phlegmatics. They are described as easygoing, laid back, content, consistent, and passive. They tend to find humor in almost everything and enjoy life, however, with a strong tendency to be lazy. In spite of my personal detestation of particular attributes, I found myself relating more with plegmatics in my natural tendencies than any other group.

There appeared to be such wonderful hope mentioned in the first three categories. According to the study, Sanguines make great salesmen and powerful evangelistic preachers. The Cholerics built the world we know through raw determination and hard work. The greatest leaders (ministry, military, or political) that the world has ever known were historically Cholerics. Melancholies are the quiet prodigies who revolutionized our world through ingenious inventions and scientific discoveries.

But then there are the Phlegmatics. Every single time that he would elude to something positive about them, he would quickly contrast it with something negative. I’ll quote the book when I finally get a copy of it, but I am going to have to write from memory here.

In the chapter detailing the “strengths” of each temperament, he states that Phlegmatics can become decent leaders if they are forced to lead, but never really take the initiative. They make good assistants to successful people, but never become a passionate thriving ball of fire. They find humor in life, as a way to remain detached from other people. They tend to be organized, but only because it keeps life simple and it is easier and less work to always leave everything in the same spot.

The part that struck morbid fear to the center of my being was where he mentions that Phlegmatics never usually excel at anything, and tend to be the predictable, ordinary, average achiever in life. Few things are as horrifying to me as the thought of living an ordinary mundane predictable life! This is under the chapter detailing the “strengths” of every temperament. How much worse would the section on the weaknesses be?!

As I continued to read, I felt like Scrooge when Marley’s ghost confronted him. As much as he didn’t want to believe what he heard, as Marley described the ponderous chain that he had already forged in his lifetime he cried out, “Old Jacob Marley, tell me more. Speak comfort to me, Jacob!” I might have even said that verbatim and out loud at some point on the train.

Later I tried to phlegmatically encourage myself by imagining Tim LaHaye getting picked on and made fun of his entire life by his phlegmatic peers. These painful descriptions were more humorous to me in that light, but that only provided me with temporary comfort.

Finally I arrived to the chapters where he talks about how to overcome our weaknesses through the fruit of the Spirit. He gives excellent biblical advice on how to get victory over anger and fear, which are the two natural tendencies for every human being. That is when my trip ended and I handed the book back to my friend.

It is absolutely essential for us to recognize at this point that there is a tremendous difference between knowing the truth and walking in the truth. I knew the answers but still felt overwhelmed by the thought of being a prime candidate for realizing one of my greatest fears… absolute mediocrity. I felt like I had just been psychologically sucker punched and was left wallowing on the ground.

The following few days were privately agonizing. A deluge of unpleasant thoughts and memories that I had suppressed for years, once again came careening through the channels my mind. I could vividly see the results of the ASVAB test I took in high school, telling me that any factory would love to have someone like me in their labor force. I could hear the involuntary chuckle of the administrator of the architectural department at UC when I asked for an application and told her my ACT score. With a 3.7 GPA I graduated in the middle of my class. I’m the third of five children, I’m exactly 5’ 8”, I am from the Midwest, and my favorite food is a potato! You don’t get much more average or boring than that!

I worked hard at suppressing all of the acidic emotions and only made a few comments in passing. One day, my wife lovingly reminded me of something that I had told dozens of other people before who were struggling with similar issues (but somehow it seems different when it happens to you). “Maybe God made you with this temperament that you hate so much so that He can get maximum glory from your life when you achieve something that seems impossible. That way, you won’t be able to take any credit for it.” It hit me like a two-ton heavy thing. She was absolutely right. I knew it was true, and it was time to start living like it was true.

From that moment on I tried to make it a point that whenever the negative thoughts would start working their way back into my mind, I would confront them by getting alone in my office to pray and read the Bible. I will address some of specific lessons that the Lord personally taught me in the next few posts, but to keep this long entry from getting any longer, here are a few specific things that He showed me:

Do not be consumed by a desire to be great.

God did not choose “great people” to represent Him, He chose the foolish things of this world to confound the wise. He chose us to serve Him by serving others in humility (1 Corinthians 1:26-29; Mark 10:42-45)

Do not dwell upon nor be consumed with your failures and inherent imperfections.

Control your thoughts, and focus on the positive (Philippians 4:8).

Do not let someone else categorize you and determine what you can and cannot accomplish.

Recognize your weakness and thank God for giving you the opportunity to reveal His strength to the world (2 Corinthians 12:10).

Do not trust in psychology or search for peace and happiness in anything other than the Lord. You won’t find it anywhere else.

The answer is not in some psychology book, but in the Scriptures. God is the only one capable of filling the emptiness and hopelessness in our hearts. If we search for it anywhere else, it becomes idolatry (Jeremiah 2:13).

Do not try to be someone that you are not.

Accept who God created you to be and focus on how to give Him glory through it (Romans 9:20).

Do not use your temperament as a fatalistic excuse to live in the flesh.

Accept that by God’s grace you are who you are, but it is still your responsability to work hard and use what you have for His glory  (1 Corinthians 15:10).

When we fall down (and it is  inevitable that we will), we need to get back up, brush the dust off our pants and continue going forward (Proverbs 24:16).

We have the truth and we know the truth. Now it’s time to yield to the spirit and start living like it’s true (Romans 6).

Ten missionaries representing countries from all over the world will be presenting their burden to get the gospel to those who have never heard.

If you are in the area between September 15 and 18, stop by the church and get involved.

For more information about the conference, click here and check out their website.

Effective leaders must learn to, “Rely on the rock of discipline, not the shifting sand of emotion.” Our obsession with positions, popularity, and self-immage cripple us in our endeavor to actually lead others effectively. We must lead in a way that will help others succeed in life, we cannot allow ourselves to fall into the trap of using the people below us to advance ourselves and to help us to selfishly climb the ladder of success. In order to earn the right to lead other, “You’ve got to love your people more than your position.”

“The right to Lead” is a quick read but definitely worth adding to your personal library. It would also be an excellent gift for anyone you may know who is in a position of leadership or simply desiring to live a life worth imitation. The world needs more leaders who are true men and women of character and courage. The principles addressed in this book are absolutely vital in a generation with a plethora of people in leadership positions but few who are truly worthy of followers.